Back to the rat race

It was remarkably easy going back to work. Sure, it felt weird leaving the house, but once I actually sat down and started digging through email, I fell right back into the swing of things. It was almost as if I’d never left, which was only made more unnerving when everyone kept asking me how I was holding up in this tone that assumed I should be mere seconds away from weeping and moaning “I miss my baby boy” all afternoon.  If anything, I feel guilty that it was so easy, as if my not completely falling apart implies I wouldn’t have made it as a stay at home mom, and that the whole making more money and being the source of health insurance bit was simply a convenient way for me to pawn the babe off on my husband.

That being said, once I left the building for the evening, I speed walked at a pace just short of a jog to get home and see the small one, who I proceeded to hold until it was time for him to go to bed (a scant hour and fifteen minutes after I got home – so sad).

Now we’ll see how I feel next week, when I spend a full five days away from the child.


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