According to the witch, I’m having a doctor

While at Whole Foods this morning, the woman in line behind my husband asked what the special occasion was, pointing at the cheesecake he planned to surprise me with.  He responded that he had a pregnant wife at home and the woman’s eyes went ablaze.

“My daughter was a surrogate, and while she was pregnant I consulted the spirits to check on the baby’s well-being and they told me both would be fine – and it turned out she was having twins.”

“Oh – neat,” my husband responded in that way one tries to be polite without  keeping the conversation going.

“What’s your name” she asked (this is the point when my husband decided she was a witch).  He responded and she insisted “No, what’s your full name?”  Great – now the witch knows our name, he thought.  “And what’s your wife’s name?”  “And what’s your baby’s name” – this one he resisted, as we haven’t told people the name and there’s no way some crazy lady in line at Whole Foods is getting the name out of him when his own mother hasn’t.

She stepped out of line for a few minutes while he was checking out, and then returned to say “Your baby is fine and will be a doctor.  Can I have your phone number so I can check up on things and find out the baby’s name?”  Stunned, he told the witch our home phone number and she handed him a pamphlet for her company (she’s a happiness consultant, whatever that is). 

And that’s what everybody warns you about when they say people say and do crazy things when it comes to pregnancy.


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