Two Metaphors

So imagine you’re 6 years old and you have a complete and total grasp of the fact that Christmas means Santa brings you presents.  And it’s now December so you are jazzed.  But guess what?  In this alternative universe Christmas doesn’t come on December 25th – it comes sometime around December 25th, as in 95% of the time Christmas will occur within two weeks of the date December 25th.  And you won’t actually find out when Christmas will occur until Santa shows up.  So you wait.  Not with the same oh-my-god-i-can’t-sleep-it’s-Christmas-eve expectant intensity, but in fits and spurts that are more like, hmmm could that be the sound of reindeer?

That’s what it’s like waiting to go into labor.

But now, let’s keep the scenario above and add a twist.  On Christmas, instead of Santa just leaving your presents under the tree, he conducts a marathon.  And while you don’t have to win to get you gifts, you do have to finish.  And did I mention, you are not a professional marathon runner?  In fact, the though of anything more than a 5K gives you hives?

So now you have this athletic event you would normal train for, or at least mentally prepare for (eat a good meal, get plenty of rest), and you only have a general idea of when the starting gun will sound.   Oh, and you’ve recently gained, like, 30 pounds and find yourself out of breath after one flight of stairs.

That’s really what it’s like waiting to go into labor.


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