Pottery Barn Kids is on my shit list

So the crib arrived, and within the time frame I was given (they said between 9 and noon and the delivery guys showed up at 10 and were finished assembling everything before 11).  That being said, they broke it in the process of putting it together and didn’t happen to mention this fact before leaving the house and heading back to Richmond.

Yup.

I discovered this hit and run when I went upstairs to admire my new furniture and tried to lower the front drop-down rail – it wouldn’t budge.  I consulted the instructions and tried again to no avail, at which point I checked out the mechanism only to see a piece of plastic bent out at a completely unnatural angle and a significant amount of scratch marks on the wood around the guide.  I removed the front rail and upon closer inspection saw that on both sides the plastic of the guides were cracked and the springs were completely squashed.  Yeah, that would explain my inability to lower the railing.

And so I called Pottery Barn Kids.  And the woman I got on the phone was extremely gracious.  She said that the plastic guide pieces were part of the manufactured door, so she couldn’t just send me either a new guide or a new front railing, but instead would have to send a new crib.  Sure.  And then when she went to place the order, she says “wait, that can’t be right… the system says the new estimated delivery date is October 30th…” as which point she put me on hold to check into things. 

It turns out the crib I have is only stored in California.  When the rep got back on the phone to tell me this, I asked her if they were hitchhiking it across country, as 30+ days seems like an egregious amount of time in the age of FedEx and airplanes and the invention of the wheel.  She agreed, but said there wasn’t anything she could do.  I said that I honestly had no where to put the baby and that I could agree to this if Pottery Barn were able to throw in a co-sleeper or something I could use until the great crib debacle was worked out and she went back to check with her manager.  Off hold again, she apologized and said her boss suggested that I just use the broken crib even though I wouldn’t be able to use the drop down rail, to which I responded that that was all well and good unless I have a C-section and can’t actually reach into the crib.  She was so nice about it, but said she just didn’t know what she could do, so we went ahead and placed the order for the new crib (as it wouldn’t help anything to delay the order) and mentioned that I would receive a merchandice gift card for my troubles (no dollar amount was specified), and gave me her contact info including her direct extensionand said she would be in touch with updates and we left it at that.

Once I hung up the phone, I struggled for twenty minutes to get the front rail back on the crib, which seemed to hang there shaky at best and would only remain on at the lowest setting, making it completely unacceptable for use.  I am now gathering my thoughts before calling them back, insisting on a manager and reminding them about this neat thing called FedEx, not to mention emphasizing the fact that the delivery guys must have known they broke the crib in the first place or completely failed to test the crib at all after assembly, which is so beyond the bounds of unacceptable that any possibility that this will be negotiated on their terms is officially off the table. 

You just don’t fuck with someone who’s 9 months pregnant and payed nearly $1000 when you include the $200 shipping and handling for a crib that does not work and will not be replaced before I go into labor.  Not to mention the fact that I was already a type A bitch from NJ to begin with.

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