The Halfway Point

It’s time to celebrate, or at least break out the sparkling blueberry juice a friend brought over this weekend. We have officially reached the 20 week mark, which seems like the perfect time to get back on the blog wagon after my month long hiatus (what can I say, I had a month off work and didn’t exactly miss staring at a computer screen).

So what did you miss while I was being lazy? Not too much, but just enough to be worthy of a quick summary:

Maternity Clothes Shopping
I liken it to the worst swim suit shopping experience you’ve ever had, multiplied by the fact that you actually have to wear these clothes to work where everyone else will be dressed like a normal person (unlike a pool or beach where you just need to have a few people less diligent about going to the gym than you show up in order to skate by unnoticed).

It’s like you handed huge pregnancy breast to a designer with a thirteen year old’s sensibilities and said “go show ‘em off, sweetie.” The V necks are dangerously low, the empire waists always want to tie into a bow that screams notice my cleavage, and most everything else is so tight it’s somewhere between the uniboob effects of a sports bra and the general appearance of two grapefruit shoved in a plastic shopping bag with a honeydew melon. Not exactly subtle. My mother just kept cracking up in the dressing room and saying “well that shirt sure would make an interesting first impression at the new job.” Add to this tees with such phrases as “Knocked Up” and “MILF in Training” (my sister-in-law actually bought this for a friend of hers), and you can understand my horror.

The saving grace is that both The Gap and Anne Taylor Loft now make maternity clothes that still look like clothing a sane and moderately well put together person would buy regardless of the contents of her uterus. There are also high end online shops like Pea in the Pod, but I am too cheap to spend over $50 on any one piece of maternity clothing as I don’t exactly plan to get more than 4 months wear out of any of this (I don’t care if they are Sevens, I’m not spending $200 on what are basically designer fat pants).

Aches and Pains
Two adventures here, neither was fun but both seem to have passed (at least for now).

Abdominal Pains: I’m talking lower abdominal cramps that feel like the worst menstrual cramps you’ve ever had got drunk with a wicked case of gas pain and had a love child. They came on like thunder and would roll in and out every 30 minutes or so while sleeping (okay, trying to sleep is more like it), or whenever I’d move for about three days. I’d get up out of bed or out of a chair and walk hunched over until they let up and allowed me to stand upright. Needless to say I called the doctor’s office and they scheduled an appointment just to be sure. Turns out this new found friend is just the result of my ligaments stretching out in my hips to make room for my growing uterus. What can I do about them? Well, basically nothing, but the good news is that they did finally subside and haven’t made a guest appearance in the past week or so.

Calf Cramps: Now I used to be an athlete. I’ve pulled muscles, especially my calves, hundreds of times. I’m pretty sure I’ve even torn my quads and hamstrings on more than one occasion (oh how I will never miss soccer pre-season), but this sensation was entirely foreign to me. At around 3 AM last week, I was awoken by a horrific pain in the middle of my calf that honestly felt like someone had just injected a marble into my muscle and was now working it up a vein in my leg. The complete awfulness subsided after about 5 minutes but left me with a knot in my calf and some general soreness. I spent the next morning flipping through my books to find out that this is completely normal (how?), and that it can often be prevented by staying very hydrated, stretching out before going to bed, staying active (walking at least 20 minutes every day, which I do), and sometimes taking a magnesium supplement if everything else fails to stave off the monster. I still have no idea why these happen, or why so specifically in the calf muscle, but I am now religious about going to prenatal yoga and prenatal swim class and I drink water like it’s going out of style. So far it’s only happened one other time, but even a week later my leg still feels tender.

Looking Pregnant
For some reason, it is wonderful to feel like I finally look pregnant and not just like I’ve let myself go. Along those lines, the other morning my entire day was made when one of the security guards at the courthouse I walk by on the way to work waved as usual and then said “Congratulations – when are you due?” I was thrilled. Granted, these guys aren’t total strangers as we’ve been waving at each other nearly every morning for the past 5 years, but it’s not like we know each other’s names, so for me, this was the first official confirmation that people who don’t know I’m pregnant can tell just by looking at me. That same day on the walk home from work, I ran into my wedding photographer who instantly said “I didn’t know you were pregnant- congrats!” Again, I was thrilled. That was two notices in one day, so either that outfit is especially belly-centric or I’ve crossed the boundary into undeniably pregnant.

Of course, upon telling my husband this story when I got home, he quietly informed me that the security guard, who he also walks by each morning, had asked him the day before if I was pregnant and he’d confirmed it. Oh well, he did still notice, even if he wanted to be sure before he opened his mouth.

Back to Work

The great escape is over and I’m back to work. The new job seems like a much better fit than the last, and while I was never really bored during my month off, it’s been nice to go back to having a routine (not to mention the satisfaction of accomplishment that comes with a challenging job, as the cleaning of closets just doesn’t cut it for me, as necessary as it was). Now we’ll see if I can get back to blogging with more regularity…


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